Should My Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting People for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?