That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.